Foible #10: Teen Graffiti: “Lester loves Patti”

Back in high school, in a passionate commitment of eternal love, Lester Habersham risked life and limb climbing onto the old railroad bridge in the middle of the night, walked precariously over the railroad ties whose spaces between dropped thirty feet to the road below, leaned far over the bridge with a spray can in hand, and wrote a contract of love for the world to see: “Lester Loves Patti.” He did this all without getting hurt and, more importantly, without getting caught.

Well, Lester’s first love was not quite eternal. It lasted only two weeks. But his contract to the world is still there for everyone to see, especially his wife. Lester is married to Susan and they have three children. They see the graffiti as a family every time they drive together under the railroad bridge heading east, which is once a week on their way to church. Susan points it out to the kids and it embarrasses Lester.

Susan has forgiven him, being the good church-going person that she is, but she certainly has not forgotten. What really gets her is that most people’s graffiti is subtle. They use initials like “R.K. + A.S.”, but not Lester. No, he spelled out full words. And everyone in town knows who it is because he is the only Lester in town. Susan was surprised that Lester didn’t write out the last names, too.

Almost every week on their drive to church, Susan retells some part of the story to their children about how she wanted Lester to ask her out but that Lester went gaga after Patti the head cheerleader and did foolish things to win her attention. Susan also tells her children how Patti dumped their father after two weeks and how Lester finally got around to asking her out. And Susan tells her children one more thing and this hurts Lester the most. She tells how their father never did anything so daring and romantic for her. Lester blushes all the way to church.

One Sunday, Lester had enough and decided to do something about it. Late Sunday night, he excused himself to go out on an errand and drove to the old railroad bridge with a spray can by his side. He parked the car off the road and looked up at the bridge looming thirty feet above him. His forty-year old legs were not quite as nimble as his fifteen-year old legs had been for climbing and balancing but he had to do something.

He barely made it up the steep dirt embankment to the track level. He was panting and sweating profusely from the climb. It was much higher than he remembered. He decided to crawl on the track on hands and knees instead of walking out on the ties like he did twenty-five years ago. After reaching the center, he leaned far out and began spray painting once again. It wasn’t long before a spotlight hit him and a loudspeaker called out. It was the police. They didn’t buy his story and he was under arrest for vandalism.

Susan was called to bail him out and he went home with her devastated. Susan was so angry and ashamed of him because all she knew was that Lester was arrested for vandalism of some sort.

The next week when they drove to church Susan saw for the first time the incomplete changes Lester had made. The word “Patti” was crossed out and the message now read “Lester Loves Sus” because he was arrested before he had finished. Susan cooed with delight at seeing this and leaned over to give him a big kiss on the cheek.

Now, every week on their drive to church, Susan has a new story to recount with her children about how Lester got arrested changing the graffiti for her. How romantic!