Foible #2: A Visit From Our Pastor

(This is a true story.)

During church services, pastors are used to having the long parts. The people are used to the short responses: “Amen” or “Thanks be to God.”

When pastors visit your home, the same dynamic applies. At least, that is the way it is with our pastor. Pastor Kerchner has the long parts when he visits us and we just reply “Yes, Pastor” or “That is so true, Pastor.”

One summer night, Pastor Kerchner was holding court around our dining room table with our family as his small congregation when he decided it was time to leave. Only thing was, Pastor Kerchner’s process of leaving takes an hour and twenty minutes.

Pastor Kerchner rose from his dining room chair and being good church-goers we all stood up also. He stood there for twenty minutes delivering a monologue. Then he moved to the front door and being good church-goers we followed in procession. He stood by the door talking for twenty minutes. Then, he moved out onto the porch and, you guessed it, stood and delivered another twenty minute address. He then moved to his car while we stayed on the porch. Twenty minutes in that configuration. He climbed into his car and rolled down the window. Twenty minutes. He started his car but this did not stop him as he talked over the idling engine for another twenty minutes. Finally, he slowly pulled out of our yard talking the whole way.

My Dad finally got in more than a short reply.

“Good night, Pastor Kerchner,” Dad called out. “It was nice listening to you.”

Truer words were never spoken in a more polite manner. My Mom and all of us kids turned and covered our mouths to squelch the laughter as we hurried into the house. My Dad stood on the porch waving before he realized what he had said and turned a bright shade of red.